Embracing my Inner Me in progress

[DnJ]

Hello Grace

I understand your uncertainty, questioning, the feeling that this seems like a lie. My XW could have been unfaithful for a while too, I just don’t have the knowledge or proof that you do. Thing is emotional healthy people don’t do that.

So, maybe don’t worry about MLC - the mid life part. H is in crisis, and may have been long before mid life. His coping skills and mechanism is stunted. The typical MLCer finds a way to compensate or hide it for a while, then at midlife - boom. Perhaps H just couldn’t hide it very well, his quiet lead up stage was just longer and more predominant than most.

He has to be depressed. However, they really run from their pain and hide it well - from themselves. This of course makes it very hard to see what is really going on. They are pretending, and acting out a fantasy. You do have to take a bit on faith here, a little leap of faith, and a belief of his torment even when it is not readily apparent.

Are you remaining snoop free? It is a difficult thing to let go of.

At this point it's hard to come up with anything positive about him.

Yeah, that one does hit a bit hard doesn’t it.

(((Grace)))

You don’t need to come up with anything positive. You don’t need to come up with anything negative. You don’t need to come up with anything. Just see the truth and accept, that is what you are working on. As odd as this will sound, more will be revealed to you when you are not looking for it. Focus on you, and kids. Things will be revealed and make sense through patience.

But to answer your first question. I'm doing quite well! I've got lots of activities, friends, and purpose. My faith has been a tremendous help, too.

Exactly! All the above uncertainty and pondering is healthy and part of doing quite well. It is part of letting go. Seeing and accepting. And there isn’t much positive to see from him. Something to accept.

All in all....

Life is good.

Yes it is girl! Glad you see that.

DnJ