I think that sounds really wacko, sorry to say. I'm not even sure what they are trying to accomplish. As far as "lost my identity", I think that's a catchall phrase for quite a bit. For me, I never used that term, but, what I did realize is that in the 27 years of my M, most of it was trying to not make waves, smooth things over, and I gave up a lot of the things I liked to do because my H didn't support me. For example, I wanted to FOR YEARS, take a vacation to Alaska or Yellowstone. I used to tell H that Denali National Park was on my bucket list. His response? "Send me a postcard". So, I stopped telling him those dreams and just planned vacations he would enjoy. I usually did too, but would have liked to do so much more. I was also a career woman, and became a stay at home mom for about 14 years. Did I "lose my identify?" No, it was there all the time, but I just didn't nurture it. I'm doing that now, because I'm not using all my energy to try to fix a broken person. I also think some use the 'lost my identity" as an excuse for just not wanting to work things out. It's easier to blame it on something else.
