I don't think the LBS / WAW / WAH/ WW labels matter 1 jot Alison. I think there was a pretty good reason why you asked and then begged him to leave. You had a marriage in crisis. My reading of DB was that it was for a marriage in crisis. A spouse that has left is one aspect of that for which it is suggested there may need to be special considerations.
I was a LBS who was then the one who pulled the plug on my M. My H was genuinely surprised that I wanted to Divorce. Distance showed me that the grass was actually greener and there was more out there for me. I am starting to suspect that in a few months / years I would have pulled the plug and been a WAW anyway.
I worry about you Alison because you come across as a tightly coiled spring who is trying to spin plates and juggle with burning coals.
He has told you that he isn't going to meet your need to repair this R yet.
Either accept that and sit and wait whilst working out what it is you fear. Or decide that you are not waiting.
I know you want to wait, so do your R a favour and back off.
Up 'ere in the North we would describe you as 'mawking' at him. Hovering and mothering and trying to fix.
Leave him be. Not to punish him, but just to identify yourselves as independent human beings.
