I can give you my experience from a policing perspective because it is often an area that gets stuck between civil and criminal law. I don't think there is much doubt that at the moment he has a legal right to occupy the house. Therefore if you prevent him access then he has the right to enter the property, provided he then makes good any damage. However, despite his lawful authority to be present in the house, he does risk breaking criminal law by trying to enforce his lawful authority if that constitutes a threat of violence against the person or premises when against the wishes of the occupier. It's messy and not a road I would advise either party to go down.
Really the only way is to apply to a court for an occupation order whereby you would have to convince a judge that it is necessary to keep you or the children safe. Very often unsuccessful except in cases of domestic violence. If he then broke the order and you felt in danger then the Police would assist in removing him.
So, where does this leave you FS? I accept the view that it is an unenforceable boundary. However, you have stated it clearly and succinctly. If he chooses to not listen then it gives you cause to consider that he is showing you no respect whatsoever.
I get the whole 'you've got to be prepared to carry through with your threats' theory when it comes to children. He's not a child, you're not his mother. If he carries on regardless, without reasonable discussion, what does it say about him and you?
So, I think it is a type of boundary - a 'virtual boundary' It is putting your situation in context. I live here. It is my home. The children live here. It is their home. You do not live here and therefore I do not consider it your home.
You've given him food for thought. Let's see what he does.
