New to this - need to talk

[SoTorn]

You dont wait in limbo land. You focus on yourself and the kids. You make yourself the best version of yourself possible. Stop all pursuit of the relationship. You have to get to the point where you are happy and have no expectations of your marriage being repaired. The point of DB is to address the issues with yourself to the point where you will be fine regardless if you end up single or not.

The point is to improve your life and happiness with a background hope that your spouse will recognize that you are a man only a fool would leave, stop their destructive actions, address their underlying issues and pursue you to reconcile.

You have to accept that your marriage is over. Its time to get working on moving forward in life. It hurts and is very counterintuitive. In all likelyhood you will end up bettering yourself for yourself and your kids and for whatever relationship you end up having in the future after this is all said and done. You need to get to the point where you are indifferent when it comes to your WW and marriage. Pretty much pick your path and walk it alone and if the WW spouse wants to prove to you they are again worthy of your love and you will be in a good enough of a place to decide whether or not you want to take them back, or you have moved on to the point where you are hapoy without them.