At what point is it acceptable to consider what improvements you would like to see in your wayward. Not to mention what would you like to see.
I think the LBH should consider the improvements he wants to see, before he ever agrees to a reconciliation. If you and your W are separated due to her waywardness, then IMHO, you should have certain requirements of her before you take her back into the MR. However, you do not mention these conditions until your W asks you what would it take to get back together. Until then, there is no point in telling her what you want......b/c quite frankly, if she is a WW, she doesn't care what you want. If there has been no change in her heart, she won't cooperate with your terms.
Waywards have a stubborn pride that is tough to break. Their selfishness will blow you away! They are not on the same track as their spouse, and have no interest in improving the MR. They want freedom to do whatever they want in any given moment. No responsibilities, no accountability, no dependability.
As a former WW, I can tell you that letting her go is the best thing you can do. It's not what you "want", but if there is a chance for this MR......it's letting her go. Improve your self esteem. Enjoy life. Don't make everything about her. I don't think the LBH can get good enough to change the WW's mind. It doesn't work with waywards. The only thing they respect is strength. If she sees you dropping her and moving on with your life instead of clinging to her.......she will have more respect for you as a man.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
