The law (unsurprisingly) is a little grey. I can't deny him access (e.g. if I change the locks, he can get a locksmith in to break-in), but he has to be respectful of my space by doing things like asking permission or waiting to be invited. We could fight it out in court and see where the cards fall but then this would turn adversarial and we are so far, fairly decent to one another. I would be interested in your view Yorkie (having been married to a divorce lawyer) if you read this.
I remember the glove incident and I remember how much it wound you up. But your W and my H are not the same. From what I read of her, before she turned into an alien, she was a decent person. I am not saying my H isn't. But he is the boy who licked all the chocolates in the box so his brother wouldn't eat them (true story and happened more than once). He will never respect my request to not come and go as he pleases so I have never asked him outright not to come here. I have only asked him to tell me first.
I did not tell him he could not come and go as he pleases. I simply said this not his home. You are right, this is a boundary I cannot enforce (well, I probably could, but I'd need to get lawyers involved) but it put the seed of doubt in his head. Right now he doesn't even think about coming and going as he pleases. He just does. But now there is a small seed of doubt that perhaps he shouldn't be sitting on the sofa watching netflix when no-one else is here (which btw is what he does most of the time) and perhaps he shouldn't be in my bedroom, even if it is only to look for D12's shorts.
Seeds of doubt have a way of eating you up.
Alison - yes it has been going on a long time. Long before I joined this forum.
