When you first met – did you need to take advise off people?

Probably not – because you were just you and he was just him. You were both attracted to each other. No games.. no advise.. it was just because.

Life has forced you to lose yourself and into a role i.e mother/carer/wife etc..


That only lasts as long as both parties are willing to play house.
Successful relationships are the ones were both parties still view each other in the same way they did when they first met. i.e. as separate individuals, who you respect and would like to spend time with.

Yes of course, wife and husband roles can work – however, all it takes is one party to (feel alive) again, i.e. met someone new, or a death in the family were they mentally reset and think … what am I doing here… I am not happy I want more.

Then the problems start and games start being played.

If the relationship is genuine then the two parties should never forget themselves and become a role – they are still that person you met but a bit older.

He is NOT responsible for how you feel.

That is so co-dependent its untrue and it’s an issue you need to sort. No one should have the power to make you feel like that. Nobody.

He is treating you the way he is because you have allowed it.

If he was abusing your kids would you stay? No you wouldn’t. It wouldn’t be a question. You would be gone in a second because it’s against your moral fibre to accept such behaviour. So why in the same breath would you tip toe around him now? He doesn’t want you as this role your playing. You need to accept that.

Your so bought into the idea of not losing something that your panicking coming here for advise.

What is there to panic about? – if you were being true to you as Alison, not a wife or mother, but Alison as a person, you wouldn’t be confused – you would get your sh*t together and do what is best for you and f**k the consequences. If he wants to come on the journey them so be it. If not, at least your living a life for you.

It starts with totally letting go and being alone. But your terrified of it - and are always keeping one eye on him waiting for a crumb of comfort.