Moving on to the bright side Part 24

[Dawn70]

Yes, that was kind of my point. For those who married young, relationships and marriage did likely start with that whole spun up thing. And, for those that were married for any length of time longer than a few years, they don't likely know anything different. I do think, though, as we grow and mature in ourselves, we realize that feeling is likely more infatuation and lust than real feelings. It may have become real as the relationship/marriage grew, but initially it was just all in your face. Lots of posters here have alluded to that need for a lot of sex at the beginning of a relationship, but for most, that high level of sex a relationship has in the beginning is not sustainable over a longer period so the lust/infatuation dies down and the real emotion sets in.

Now that you are older and have gone through a D, you can grow and realize that you can feel for someone (and even be sexually attracted to them) without being out of control emotionally. Being vulnerable is hard, especially if you are the LBS. It is hard to put yourself out there. I totally understand what you mean about being caught by surprise by meeting someone "normal" online. I didn't think I would either, but here we are. LOL

I didn't mean anything negative by anything I said and I get that you are just going with what you know, so to speak, but I was hoping at some point, someone that you like/respect would say what G did so that you would think about it because when you kept posting about not feeling spun up I kept wondering why you would want to feel that way. From the outside looking in, you appear to have a mature (dare I say "age appropriate") relationship with the dr and I couldn't be happier for you. You seem look a decent guy and you deserve a good, "normal" woman to share your life with when you are ready to have that. When you first got married to your XW, y'all were young and it was just the 2 of you. Now, you not only have to worry about yourself, but you also have to worry about your daughters. And, like most good parents, you seem to embrace the idea of putting your children first. That makes for a very different dynamic in a relationship than being young and being able to get naked and have sex in the middle of the living room at 2:00 in the afternoon....know what I mean? LOL