Just caught up with this thread and too me personally as someone who has been through this process and come out of the other end - I understood very early on that I needed to detach detach detach.
If the relationship was ever going to work, I had to be alone, sad, heartbroken, empty - and as the months go by and things start to settle - then maybe if it was meant to be then we would naturally be drawn back to each other - which luckily was the case and still is.
The thing I notice about your posts, is the constant interactions with him and the desperate nature of them.
You may say you need to talk to him or ask him this and that.. However behind all of these questions is fear. Fear that it may truly be over and you have lost everything you had previously. But it seems you have convinced yourself otherwise that interacting with him in this way is going to help you.
I can tell you from experience it isnt helping.
You seem to be constantly looking for clues in everything he is saying. But that’s only going to drive you insane because he will not provide you with answers that have any solid foundation or future - simply enough to keep you ticking over until next time you feel a bit down or empty.
Its like your scrambling to make him see how you don’t want this to end, but in the same breath trying to DB at the same time - and the result is a non functional mess of emotions that does nothing to help you move on - or help draw him back into the equation if he so choses.
One trick that helped me massively was truly 100% believing there is no way back. That she was dead. We would never get back together - and truly accept it. Seems bizzare - but it worked as it allowed me to make decisions and talk through my true self for my benefit rather than living through hints of desperation which alter my mindset to ask questions which are ultimately designed to make you feel better and as a result push them away further.
