World is upside down right now

[othstr]

1st BD was a year ago yesterday. I'm glad I didn't get on my thread, because I didn't remember it was that date. I had a good day, made a good dinner and went to my boot camp class. S came with me and is just perfect while we are there, sits in the stroller and just watches us all do our thing! We didn't have anything to do today, it was nice. We/I did stop for ice cream after picking him up from the sitter. He took a nice long nap when we got home, so I got some stuff done around the house, and got a little nap in myself!

It's almost a year since H left. There has still not been one word about a D! I have not wanted to be the one to initiate it, but I think I'm ready. I know that plenty of people on here would be happy to be in my position, but it [censored]! He was doing really good at paying me every month. He's not been working as much/getting as many jobs, so he hasn't really paid me. He has only paid his share of childcare once out of 3 weeks, and majorly decreased the amount he was paying monthly, and he only paid because I asked him for money. If it is legal, he will be legally required to pay me, not just out of the "kindness of his heart." I don't plan on doing anything until after I am done with the school year, so June. That's means I have a month and a half to change my mind if I choose to.

I know I deserve better than him and what he has done to me and our marriage. As others have said on here, he is the lowest of low to leave his pregnant wife. He clearly is not a man, what kind of man would do that?? No matter what, I know that I have the prize of our MR, my amazing son!