Yeah, there were signs. She said a few times over the past couple years (really, since having our D2) that she didn't know who she was anymore. She decided that she had spent all her time worrying about everyone else (D2, her parents, sister, students, friends, me, since revised to be just me) and it was time to worry about herself. Figure out what made her happy and do it, whether I liked it or not. Especially if I didn't like it. She freely admits that she's become (her words) selfish, cold, hard. She's proud of it, like that equates to strength.
I don't know if she'll wake up and see me in a better light. But we have to develop independence to be ready for either a healthier MR or the very real possibility of divorce. Regardless of outcome it's what we have to do.[/quote]
W has said very similar things but she's not prideful in selfishness, but in my opinion is taking selfish actions to divide the family and go out on our own independently, and to my knowledge is not in current affair but Teeter tottering on it. However she has said that she got tired of putting all of her family and friends and husband first. Now it's about her new plan and newly-revised life independence and happiness w S1. Mine is a behavior specialist and teacher and she's quitting her job this summer because she doesn't want to return to the stress, she wants to move away from everyone, work from home and become a health coach, a farmer, a new keeper, a stay at home mom. " in other words pursue what makes her happy" (more resentment that she had to work to pay the mortgage) this summer is right around the corner and I don't see anything lined up on her end yet. something tells me I'm going to have to pay for it all, once and if the house is sold. Which I doubt because it won't conform to her timeline and her hopes and dreams.
I'm sorry your wife is being so prideful and selfish and doesn't realize what real sacrifices are, and who they are for. For all the guys out there that work their butts off to provide for their families and their wives complain and never spend enough time with them or the family. Please listen to what they are saying and make adjustments and balance in your lives. Sometimes we all need money to keep a roof over our heads but there are some memories you can never get back. But don't ever let them demonize you because they're coming from a place of selfishness. In their minds they think they do it all when it's far from the truth. It's only partial truth and delusioned thinking at best.
Here's the real truth. A man's world is a man's world and a woman's World Is A Woman's World and usually perceptions are very different. If a man had to do all the things that women do they would go crazy and vice versa. Our spouses never see what we do or what we put up with. And a lot of them want to inflict what they experience on to us, just to give us a taste of what they go through. Still no reason to break up a marriage though IMO. These are universal problems in every marriage I'm sure MWD has seen on a regular basis.
