Not Sure Where This Is Going

[Niall11]

Me too Naill11 2009 to last fall. You have to constantly keep reminding yourself that this isn't the same person from last fall. They have all this pent-up resentments, blame shifting, and projection, as if we are sure fire cause why they are unhappy. They're gravitating like you said towards their own independence and saying the hell with the LBS. People here have said it time and time again and it's exactly what are WAS doing, focusing on themselves. We need to focus on ourselves and the time we spend with our children. Maybe im right, maybe im wrong for thinking this way, but the more we involve ourselves independently away from them and the more we involve ourselves with our children maybe they'll wake up and realize what they're missing instead of us?

Yeah, there were signs. She said a few times over the past couple years (really, since having our D2) that she didn't know who she was anymore. She decided that she had spent all her time worrying about everyone else (D2, her parents, sister, students, friends, me, since revised to be just me) and it was time to worry about herself. Figure out what made her happy and do it, whether I liked it or not. Especially if I didn't like it. She freely admits that she's become (her words) selfish, cold, hard. She's proud of it, like that equates to strength.

I don't know if she'll wake up and see me in a better light. But we have to develop independence to be ready for either a healthier MR or the very real possibility of divorce. Regardless of outcome it's what we have to do.