I know your H has a fear of abandonment and I know you don't want to trigger that. But you don't need to let that be your motivation. This is about you, not him. You are moving away from unacceptable behaviour. If he feels abandoned, he can reflect on that and figure out how to behave in ways that won't cause you to move away. It will probably get worse before it gets better. And if he's a problem drinker, it might not work at all - he'll have medicine to take away all the pain he might have been able to learn from. But at least you'll know, and at least you won't be subject to his moods.
