Even though you are feeling the full force of uncertainty at the moment, I still like your updates. To me, they still resonate with optimism.
I was going to respond to your last post about breaking up with the prof.
Originally Posted by Davide
I felt like my feelings weren't deepening, and I was feeling guilty that I couldn't reciprocate the love and support she was giving me. It was making me feel bad to the point that I almost didn't want to see her.
Davide - and I say this with respect and gratitude for all the support you've given me, is it possible, that maybe, you think too much ??
The quote from the subtle art is probably pretty spot on ... for where you are today. Today you are possibly looking reasons to not be in a stable relationship because subconsciously you might have to commit and then put yourself at risk. So, you are attracted to 'unstable' because, well, you might have fun, but you're never really going to commit ... so your heart remains protected.
This state is temporary. It does not define you as a person. Your heart will heal and it will open again. Give it time. For now. Try not overthink. Live in the present. Let what will happen happen. If you happen to break off another 'stable' relationship, it is because you sub-consciously weren't ready. And that's OK.
