Hope - we all here feel the same ... complete strangers maybe, but we have all been / are still, where you are now and we know how terrifying and confusing it can be.
No, you are not detached enough. Our sitch's are similar yes, but the difference is I have accepted that he may never come back and am OK with that. I (mostly) don't base my actions on how it will affect him and I am able to act normal around him again.
It is more than dressing up nice and going out when he is there - it is dressing up nice and going out irrespective of whether he is there or not. It is dressing up and going out because you have someplace you want to go where you want to look good. And [censored] what he thinks about it.
The only way is to just start doing it. And this is where the faking it till you make it comes in. You need to force yourself to go out and participate in life again. When you're out you have to put him to the back of your mind. You will think about him frequently, but just tell your brain to stop, you Hope, are out having too much fun at the moment. When you're out you will want to go home - force yourself to stay out. This doesn't mean standing around in bars looking for men, but it does mean getting out of your comfort zone.
Focus on you. It is your healing that is important right now.
