I know that you are having an affair with your ex colleague "XXXX" and it breaks my heart to know that there is someone else in your life who is more important to you than me and is tearing our family apart. . WW - Nothing like this is there and there is no affair, he is just a good friend.
Vik11- Please do not lie anymore and disrespect me and our daughter. I will not tolerate your deceit and allow you to continue to lie to your parents as well. They are good people and don't want them to think that our marriage broke just because of the reasons that you have given me.They deserve to know the truth on our side as well, because i took your hand from your father and I feel responsible.
WW - Ok, yes i have an affair and you are responsible for that. You pushed me into that.
Vik11 - I know that I did things that strained our MR and the reasons that you gave me have merit and I am working on fixing those and will continue to do so for my personal growth and other relations.While what I did was subconcious, you made a conscious choice to be in affair, knowing well the damage it will be causing.So, I take the 50% responsibility for my actions that deteriorated our MR, but the affair is on you. You decided to choose affair over family, infedility over trust and marriage. What are you going to tell your daughter in future, when she faces issues and going gets tough in her life? That she should cut and run? If you decide to continue the affair, we can't be friends as you had mentioned in one of your messages. As we have to coparent our daughter, we will be only talking/messaging regarding our daughter.
WW - So, if you know that I don't want to be with you, I will file the divorce soon.
Vik11 - That is your choice. I don't want a divorce, but if it is something that you want, go ahead and do as you please. I will have my lawyer reply and till the time divorce doesn't get final, do not expose our daughter to OM, otherwise I may have to proceed legally on that as well
After this, i will leave the room.
What do you guys think. Is this OK.
I know the conversation can go in any direction, but I wanted to make sure I had answers for main things I know will come during discussion.
If you think there is anything I need to change, please let me know or if you think I need to be prepared for some other points, would appreciate your inputs. (I PLAN TO DO IT TOMORROW, SO WOULD APPRECIATE IF YOU CAN TAKE SOME OF YOUR TIME TODAY TO GO THROUGH THIS AND REPLY)
Vik, you can't reason with her, you also can't guilt her and you can't blame her like you are trying to do because she will throw it right back in your face and explain (or more likely, scream) about why it's all your fault. If you want to let her know you know about the affair, then just keep it short and sweet. "W, I just wanted to let you know that I am aware of your affair and I am disgusted by your behavior." That's it. No more needs to be said. If she denies just look her straight in the eye and say "we both know that's not true." If she persists just say "I just wanted to tell you that I know, and that's all I have to say about it".
THAT IS ALL. Do it calmly, without anger or hatred or anything in your voice. You're just informing her. DO NOT ENGAGE IN AN R TALK, which is what you're trying to do above.
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Please do not lie anymore and disrespect me and our daughter.
Do not use D against her, D doesn't have any place in a discussion about an affair.
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I will not tolerate your deceit and allow you to continue to lie to your parents as well. They are good people and don't want them to think that our marriage broke just because of the reasons that you have given me.They deserve to know the truth on our side as well, because i took your hand from your father and I feel responsible.
Do not use her parents against her either. That will backfire on you in spectacular fashion, because at the end of the day if you force their hands her parents WILL stand with her and not you. It's far better to not involve them at all and just try to maintain a peaceful relationship with them.
