that all makes a lot of sense to me, and I relate to all of it. My H has def not always been friendly. In the beginning he was cold, distant, sometimes mean, angry and extremely secretive. What you said about the WAS keeping things secret that weren’t secret worthy, that was him for sure. I totally relate to what you say about your H’s fog Lifting and him seeing you as a person. I think once my H finally recovered from being angry and bitter at me, he was able to remember that he did in fact enjoy talking to me. I saw as a sign that he was coming around to reconciliation for awhile, now I see that it may be that to some degree, and may be other things. I told my therapist that I suppose he really does want to be friends with me. She said, he doesn’t want to be friends—you are family to him. He just doesn’t feel he wants to be married to me. As you say, it’s an improvement, regardless. I am really trying to internalize what you say about detaching and having no expectations. That has been a lifelong struggle for me, and now is the time of ever there was one.
