He is coming out of the fog and seeing me as a person again. Not the cause of all his misery, not the person he has to 'hide' everything from (there's an interesting comment from AS on how WAW's feel they have to keep everything from us even when there isn't anything to keep secret), not just the babysitter, dogsitter and payer of the mortgage, but as a person. A person with opinions and ideas worthy of having a grown up conversation with.
The other is I am in a much better place than I have been for a long time. I am happy. Instead of looking at the things I've I look at the things I have gained. Time was always a premium for me - I never had enough of it. Now, I have more than I know what to do with and I was always exhausted and anxious. As a result of having more time. I am doing brilliantly at work, I enjoy my time with my children and I have lots of opportunities to GAL. I also get to sleep in the middle of the bed !!!
In any case ... I am detached enough to know I am no longer at the mercy of his emotions/reactions/words. I can ask him "how was your night" without worrying if he thinks I am prying or worried about his response. I've taken the pressure of myself which means the pressure is off of him too.
My H and I are slowly learning to be friends again. It may not be the road to R. I have no expectations and will carry on with my self improvements regardless.
