Thnaks a lot Neffer, Anthony, AnotherStander and Sandi for your detailed suggestions and advice. I can't thank you enough for the clarity that you guys bring.
So, after thinking, i think atleast I should let her know that i know of the affair and was not being deceived.I guess I should be ready to bear the consequences and no pint putting my head in sand, because not confronting also is not getting me any benefit (unless you guys think it does and if you do, please let me know).
I plan to say the following:
WW,
I know that you are having an affair with your ex colleague "XXXX" and it breaks my heart to know that there is someone else in your life who is more important to you than me and is tearing our family apart. . WW - Nothing like this is there and there is no affair, he is just a good friend.
Vik11- Please do not lie anymore and disrespect me and our daughter. I will not tolerate your deceit and allow you to continue to lie to your parents as well. They are good people and don't want them to think that our marriage broke just because of the reasons that you have given me.They deserve to know the truth on our side as well, because i took your hand from your father and I feel responsible.
WW - Ok, yes i have an affair and you are responsible for that. You pushed me into that.
Vik11 - I know that I did things that strained our MR and the reasons that you gave me have merit and I am working on fixing those and will continue to do so for my personal growth and other relations.While what I did was subconcious, you made a conscious choice to be in affair, knowing well the damage it will be causing.So, I take the 50% responsibility for my actions that deteriorated our MR, but the affair is on you. You decided to choose affair over family, infedility over trust and marriage. What are you going to tell your daughter in future, when she faces issues and going gets tough in her life? That she should cut and run? If you decide to continue the affair, we can't be friends as you had mentioned in one of your messages. As we have to coparent our daughter, we will be only talking/messaging regarding our daughter.
WW - So, if you know that I don't want to be with you, I will file the divorce soon.
Vik11 - That is your choice. I don't want a divorce, but if it is something that you want, go ahead and do as you please. I will have my lawyer reply and till the time divorce doesn't get final, do not expose our daughter to OM, otherwise I may have to proceed legally on that as well
After this, i will leave the room.
What do you guys think. Is this OK.
I know the conversation can go in any direction, but I wanted to make sure I had answers for main things I know will come during discussion.
If you think there is anything I need to change, please let me know or if you think I need to be prepared for some other points, would appreciate your inputs. (I PLAN TO DO IT TOMORROW, SO WOULD APPRECIATE IF YOU CAN TAKE SOME OF YOUR TIME TODAY TO GO THROUGH THIS AND REPLY)
Thanks again for all your support and guidance. You guys feel like family that understands my pain and knows exactly where it hurts and what I should do.
