I am pretty proud of me. I think the reason he didn't rage is because he knows he is in the wrong and there was no trying to defend his position. He had that look on his face, like the one I get when I know I've been slacking off at work and someone pulls me up on it. I know i've been taking the pee, I was just hanging in there waiting for someone to finally tell me to pull my [censored] together.
He might have read the email (which I still intend to send once the school holidays are done). He will stew quietly in his flat thinking about all the reasons why he has a right to be here. At first he will only read the bits saying he can't be in the house anymore, but unconsciously he will read all of it and it will sink in. Then he will calm down and just quietly do as I've asked. He will start spending time with the children away from the house. He will stop popping by to walk our dog. What he won't do is acknowledge reading the email. He has not mentioned the camera is disabled even though he would have got an email from the provider telling him it was removed from his account.
I definitely feel the winds of change coming in. We have been communicating - not flirty, but more than just logistics. We talk about people we both know, work, the news. Today we exchanged about a dozen texts with light banter in them. I had asked him to look at flights for me and the girls to Mexico. They came out unaffordable so he suggested Ibiza. When I said I was planning on going there with friends when he took the kids away (normally this would result in him having a go at me for "being selfish") he simply replied "Ha ha. The girls and I might run into you as thats where I'm thinking of taking them".
I don't know if it's because I am in a better place, or because my being in a better place takes the pressure off him so he doesn't feel the need to be so guarded and defensive around me, but whatever it is, it is definitely better. I even felt comfortable enough tonight to ask him if I could meet him and the girls for brunch tomorrow (he has them tonight and tomorrow day). He just went sure.
As an aside I caught him looking at my breasts today, I know, TMI, but it was kind of weirdly uncomfortable. I saw him looking, he saw me see him. I pretended not to notice and put one hand over my chest and rearranged my scarf with the other. I am not reading anything into it. I had a low cut top and he is a man. Just funny really. He hasn't looked at me like I'm a person for the longest time. He has always been afraid to look at me in case "it gives me hope".
I don't want to think about OW too much but when I say that he simply does not have time, he simply does not have time. He is a pilot so he is away about 3 - 4 days/nights per week anyway. I know this, I lived with him for 15 years. On any given week, he is either away or he has the children. On the nights he isn't working or doesn't have the kids he is here until 8 in the evening and then back here at 8 the next morning. He might have the odd night where he isn't working or doesn't have the kids, but that's once every two weeks. There is not a lot of room in there for anOW. He has started taking a weeks unpaid every 2 months. On those weeks he has the kids about 4-7 nights. It is crazy how much he wants to have the children with him.
Your W is panicking. The realisation of what she has done is hitting her and (like us at BD) she is trying to hold on. I don't know if you want her back or not. You probably don't know if you want her back or not. I would wait it out, continue building my life and just see if her feelings are genuine through consistent behaviors over a period of time before I would be willing to get back on the crazy train. Are your interactions still weighted, and by weighted, I mean are you both careful what you say, do you read things into each other's gestures etc or are you able to talk naturally with one another now.
