P jam— it went well in the sense that I got dressed up and left and had dinner at a place I’d been wanting to try. I felt pretty good about it, so there’s that. Thank you for asking!
Fly solo— thank you so much for this. You’re right that I need to find a way out of my head. I’ve been spending a fair amount of time with my friends when H is with our daughter, so I do feel like I’m succeeding at GAL. It’s the detaching that is super challenging for me. I’ve always enjoyed my own time with friends etc. and I’ve tried all along to avoid the urge to isolate myself. Yes, I guess a lot of the mixed signals I’ve felt from him refer to him wanting to spend time with us all together as a family. He bought me a nice Christmas gift, and brought me flowers on Valentine’s Day. He lingers after we’ve put our daughter to bed, sometimes chatting with me on the couch, sometimes just sitting quietly not saying much. Those types of things. You are right that there are likely several reasons for these actions, some having to do with his not knowing what he wants, but some are likely more selfish on his part. He just sent me a divorce related email. This is excruciating. The thing is that I genuinely believed that he would come back eventually. I felt like it was so close so many times. I worry that all the times I thought I was being strong that I was really just in denial. I’m trying so hard, but I only feel strong between talk of divorce. Each time he brings it up again, I crumble inside. Anyway, thank you so muchfor the supportive words!
