That is just what kills me every night when I go to bed. She did not deserve any of this, she deserved an effort by both her parents to give her a family/save the family she deserves.
Half of marriages end in divorce. And the other half that don't end in D, I would love to know how many of those are broken, messed up M's. I bet it's a lot. Your daughter is not going through something unique here. After my D I was hiking with my younger daughter and told her I was sorry she and her siblings had to go through our D. Do you know what she said? That XW and I had 20 years together and that was pretty impressive in this day and age, and that even after D we both worked hard to show them how important they were to us, and we always put them first, and that she couldn't ask for more than that. I have some pretty darned smart kids. You can't control whether your M makes it or not. But you can control what kind of parent you are to your D. Focus on what you can control.
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But my W chose the path that will just bring destruction for all (her family, my family, our daughter).
I know it all seems catastrophic to you right now and I know you are hurting, but this isn't going to destroy anything other than the M itself. Her family will be good, so will yours, so will your D. It'll all work out. Be patient and give it time. Quit blaming W and stop the unhealthy thoughts.
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If she is gone already, then why should I worry about not telling her what I know and how it is affecting our daughter and our lives.
Tell her or don't tell her, it makes no difference. But SHE will blame YOU. She'll explain in WAS terms why it's all your fault, why your actions FORCED her to have an affair and blah blah blah. You're just going to get a big face full of WAS script and no closure or feelings of peace or anything. Just understand that going in.
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I don't want to beg but atleast want to tell her that I am strong and I will come out of this stronger than before.
She won't believe it. SHOW her, don't TELL her. Ask yourself how you can show her inner strength in the face of this.
