Firstly, thanks to all the members who gave their suggestions and advice.
Update- My wife is moving out to an apartment 3 miles from where I live. The hostility in her conversations has decreased and the messages she sends are pertaining to our 2 year old daughter, but atleast communication is happening. I guess she is relieved that she is leaving and will have free access to her AP for the days my daughter will be with me.
FYI....I have not confronted her yet about the affair.
I was planning to confront her and as per Sandi, it is not going to change anything and now I am in doubt and don't know if I do or should not do.
IF I DO - If I do confront her, then that would mean that the communication that has improved will again stall. - She may think as the affair is out in open, she may be pushed further towards her AP. - She if in any scenario, may want to come back in few months,will have resistance and guilt and shame, if she knows that I was aware of the affair going on. - May intensify her feelings towards the AP - The days we have left together (this week basically), will be awkward and I am not sure how to deal with it.
IF I DON'T - If I don't confront her, then - I will not have the peace of mind that I told her before she left that I was not deceived, but did not confront her earlier because I wanted our daughter to have as much family time as possible. - There is a possibility that once she moves out and realizes that the fantasy world she was living in is different than the real world and may have second thoughts. - If she believes that I am not aware of the affair, the road back is easier. Once she is back, definitely we will talk about the affair and recovery. - Communication while she is living separately will be ok and may have opportunities to talk about stuff other than our daughter and may help rebuilding (maybe, but seems difficult).
PLEASE PLEASE help me with this dilemma.
All the vets on this forum, would request you to please help me decide what way to take. i guess the fear of losing her is gripping my rational thinking and I really want to do what works and not what i feel will work.
I just have this week to have this conversation and I want to do it as soon as possible.
