Re: A familiar story with questions TEN

[RR17]

Is this a time frame you've given her to either start having sex with you or you'll leave?

IMHO, "reminding her" sounds more like a threat. I can't see how that would cause her to feel desire for you. If you had just gone ahead and left, it might have been more effective than giving her a time frame to come across or else.

Well, I didn't put it that way exactly. I told her that I didn't want to remain in a sexless marriage and when she said that she never saw us going back again. I told her that I would be out by the end of the year. I wasn't in any position to leave immediately and I also felt it could be considered desertion. It was no idle threat to cause a reaction. I guess it It could be considered a warning.

Remember me talking to you about the importance of non-sexual touch? You couldn't bring yourself to do it. From a woman's point of view I can tell you that when there are no affectionate touches outside bedroom......she's not going to be hot & ready for intimate touches behind bedroom doors. Someone compared women to slow cooking crock pots, while men were like microwaves. Well, some women don't take that long to start cooking, when they've had fairly consistent affection outside the bedroom doors. The H needs to be consistent in showing his W affectionate touching outside the bedroom, and don't wait until the evening he wants sex to start. I think a lot of men unknowingly make their mistake by waiting till nearly bedtime and then start giving his W signals. From what I have heard other women say, it is a turn-off for them, b/c he hasn't touched his W all week and suddenly wants her to get in the mood b/c he wants sex.

I do remember. And I did do it. It wasn't welcomed. I was told that it wasn't welcomed. I wrote about it here.

I also understand what you are saying. Perhaps I should try again?

Now it has been so long that it would feel very awkward. Before, it was just difficult to find the opportunity.
I have reached a point where I have detached so much that I don't really care. I am tired of risking rejection and have now spent months without even thinking about it. I have really Detached from any expectation.
As for one partner waiting on the other one? I did make attempts. It was met with a negative reaction. No, it wasn't attached to the expectation that we would head straight for the sack. It just wasn't well received. I stopped.

Should I try again?