Oh no, that sounds horrible. You’re about as patient as I am, ie not at all! I know how it feels to be longing for comfort and to be given rejection. That hurts more than anything. So painful, I’m sorry that happened to you (())
Honestly, ringing him like that when you were feeling in need of reassurance was never going to go well...
I reiterate: we need strategies for when we want to pursue but shouldn’t. And for how not to have R talks when we know it’ll just be counterproductive.
