I could just kick myself. I really could. He's always unbearable when he's tired and he'd obviously come home from work and had a couple of drinks and wasn't in the mood to be dealing with me. And he hates feeling like I am making emotional demands on him, and I basically phoned him and had a go at him for not texting me enough. I just had a very very very weak and sad moment tonight and I had been doing so well. I felt myself drifting away from him and it scared me, I guess. I've tried phoning him again to see if I can repair things and he's turned his phone off. I hate feeling so unnecessary and burdensome and disposable to him. I have been so strong and I've been working so hard on everything and all he sees is some needy, annoying, irritating person who he hates. When I go to him to be cherished or comforted or supported - all things he says he wants in our future - it seems to inspire such contempt in him.
