FS: Does the ring give you strength, or take energy from you? Does it cause you a flash of emotion when you notice it during the day?
Originally Posted by AlisonUK
I think these symbolic things can support our intentions, or they can get us stuck.
I completely agree, and that's what I was feeling. For a while my ring supported my intentions, and I wore it for that time. But when W again discussed the logistics of D, and I looked around the house I know that she is really gone. And I don't want to be stuck. So I set the ring aside.
I guess for me - the removal of the rings was about letting go, but not about moving on. I am still a believer that W and I have a shot at R in our futures. I really do. But I'm being honest with myself that now is not the future. Right now, we are not partners.
Perhaps my feelings on this are a little bit related to the fact we are a lesbian relationship. The language of "partner" implied we were a unit well before we signed the papers. So I guess I feel that our couplehood mostly lived outside of M, and the legal piece wasn't what really bound us to each other.
We were engaged for 6+ years before getting married (together 9 before M) and a part of that was due to the fact our families did not accept this union. (Honestly - we kind of waited them out. Time is a great teacher. Most family came around to accepting and loving us as a couple after witnessing YEARS of our devotion to each other. That right there is my proof that Hearts can change.)
So, I feel like I am here for W if the opportunity to become partners again presents itself. I have work to do in that area. But I need to start releasing my heart from hers so I can discover exactly what that means for me.
