Feeling lost getting over it and maybe not caring

[Turbine]

Thank you DejaVu.

Strong already... I am glad others see it. I don't. Maybe I am too close to the problem or too involved.
Mrs. Turbine is only seeing the bad in what we were/had/could be. I acknowledge it wasn't perfect or without rough patches. No one lives the TV perfect marriage or life. Considering some of what is happening with that crowd I am pretty glad I don't.

There are expectations set though by what we see on the big and little screen. Some very unrealistic swill is served up and people love it because it all works out in the end. The hero/heroine gets the reward. Those deserving punishment get it. Those who did wrong regret and depending on the story, may or may not, return to the side of being right.

We all know that it doesn't work that way.

I have my faults. My insecurities gathered from a lifetime on this spinning rock. These are mine. I must deal with them. Not Mrs. Turbine, not anyone else. I can have help. Which all of you graciously and willingly offer. Again... Thank you.
In the end each of us can only fix us.

Mrs' Turbine says hurtful things. Does hurtful things. Why? God knows why... God knows I want to not be affected by her actions. I am though. I would like to help her not be this hurt. To heal. It seems reasonable that she is being supported by those who validate her position. She won't change her mind. Maybe even if everything crashes down. Is that pride?

Talking with our son about his younger sister. W and younger D are cut from the same bolt of cloth. They share many edges where the cuts were made to separate them from that bolt. Both are middle child. W for her dad, D for both of us. So of all our three it seems they would understand each other the most. Nope. No way.

My son helped me with getting more out of the garage. It is separate from the house. Mice have been in or on much of it. I will not have the space for or need of much of what is mine to deal with. If my BiL doesn't get started there will be a lot going to the curb that is his. Conversations in Tagalog between them. My patience is gone.

Complaints of disrespect toward them. Don't forget the stick in your own eye.

Still have dark thoughts. Not as strong or intense. I do feel resigned more. That doesn't mean happy though. Not about this. I am the only one who can decide I did everything I could. Still not there. Not sure what I am holding on to.

Time to get Sunday going. Morning cleanup, church, afternoon with my son and some friends. We are going to go stave off some disaster in a distant galaxy. Where I am the toughest Red Shirt around.