I take you as you are

[Yail]

Acceptance does not mean giving up. It's just accepting there is nothing you can do to fix it.

YES. Exactly this. I have really been ruminating on this idea, and you've hit the nail on the head.

I have not and do not intend to ever shut out W from my heart entirely. I can only handle my own improvements and live my own life. And we must live in the now and accept what we have in front of us - which contains so much good. You have your children. I have...well, nothing as grand as children, but other really fun and exciting things that bring me joy. My family, for sure. And a new-found sense of freedom and creativity.

There has been a definite shift in your posts of late. They are more hopeful and optimistic for your future. Maybe you needed that little bump in the road to realise that you would be OK.

And I'm not so naive to think there won't be additional bumps. Hopefully no major potholes. I'm sure there will be. But I will be okay, that's for sure.

Whilst I like this take no prisoners Yail, To me a [censored] queen is someone who has hardened her heart.

I hear what you're saying - but that wasn't my intent. I think I'll need some different words to express what I mean.

I guess I feel those words in a more: This is Yail, this is all of me in my wide and varied glory. I'm wonderful and also deeply flawed, and seek another person to share that human experience. I am in awe of what it means to be human and how grand we are, each of us with such power. I truly wish to honor the power that I have, and acknowledge the power that a future R partner will have.

Although, perhaps I described with those other words because I'm really digging my black nail polish. I'm digging the rock'n'roll glam look hardcore these days!

FS - as always - you're the best. Take a rest. I know there's a lot on your plate with considering your letter, but be sure you take some time for yourself where H doesn't take up mental space.