Understand this from our mistakes and our experiences your wife has to come to you and has to have motivation willingness and desire to reconcile with you you cannot bring it to her she has to come to you with it, and you cannot convince her have discussions horse weigh her until she is ready and wanting and willing and able to make up her mind on whether she wants the marriage or not she is the one that is obviously leaving it. So apparently valves mean nothing to her based on her feelings you are dealing with an emotional creature that has been the caretaker of the relationship since the beginning. The whole time you were involved with your wife she was probably asking herself to questions does he look at me enough that he pay enough attention to me does he do the things I want him to do how do I feel about him what does this mean she's always going to be temp checking you, and testing you it's just women's nature and you have to accept it. If they are looking elsewhere such as an affair supposed to fill a part of themselves that they feel like they're missing, or missing out on life, they are going to have to fall hard and it's going to take a long time and they're going to have to have a sense of loss to really fully have the desire to recommit to the relationship in the marriage.
Otherwise you are just trying to sway them by having these talks, and that feels like selfish manipulation to them. The best thing you can do is not talk to them, or interact with them as little as possible and not bring up relationship talks. Put all the focus on you. You are standing for the marriage and she is not but do not attempt to save it. When you change you change for you and you only. What's that you might have a chance through attraction of your wife coming back. But she is going to have to want it bad enough, and right now she is at zero. Every time you have a relationship talk with her it resets the scale to zero. Trust us on this. You may temporarily feel better for doing it but it will make your situation worse. If there's anything I've learned the hard way from here is doing nothing is doing something and when you're doing something for yourself, changing GALing growing yourself, they will notice through time and consistency.
