Thanks a lot Sandi....I appreciate your reply and definitely would consider each point you have mentioned.

To just update you on what you have mentioned, here are my thoughts:

1. I am confronting her because I want peace of mind and want to let her know that she was not deceiving me, but I kept quiet to ensure that my daughter gets time with both of us for some days. I will also ask her to leave as soon as possible (if it is next weekend, then she should try and leave sooner). I am not sure if confronting her brings any advantage or not.

2. Will try and book appointment with a lawyer as soon as possible. Though she has mentioned that we will have 50/50 custody of our daughter. As you say we can't trust them, an example of that is "few weeks back when she lost her job, she asked me to start paying daycare expenses for our daughter till she gets the job, and on the other hand she is renting an apartment for the same amount to just be away from me" . I so wanted to tell her that if you have no job, then why are you in hurry to take a separate apartment, but didn't say anything.

3. As far as exposing to her parents is concerned, I just thought it to be my moral responsibility to tell her father that this is why we are getting divorced and not what your daughter is going to tell you or is telling you. Also, they live in another country and they called me yesterday mentioning that they are planning to be here this month end and will try and talk to her to think through before making any decision as they told me that they are in favor of this marriage being restored and they trust me completely. I was planning to tell my wife while confronting that she should tell her father about the affair in 5 days and i she does not, then I will. I am not sure how that will turn out, but I know for a fact my wife will hate me for that, but I see it as a last ditch effort and worth trying.

4. About the abuse thing, post affair she went to a IC and was told that she has been abused and I surely take some responsibility, but not sure how counsellors can pass judgements without talking to both parties. Though thanks a lot for your kind words and I will try and not look at myself as one.
Also, in my heart I still believe, whatever I did, it did not call for an extramarital affair. I did that not consciously (though i feel remorse for what I did), but affair was a choice she made knowingly and that hurts deep.

5. Sure, as I stand for my marriage, I will not be filing for divorce and would convey the message that we are co- parents and not friends, till she is still involved with the other man.

Also, if you have any specifics about what i can sat while confronting, would be great to have your two cents.

Thanks again for your words of wisdom and I feel gratitude towards you from all LBHs whom you help and support without fail.
Appreciate it.