Lost

[SoTorn]

jac, I know you have asked her point blank and so has her brother, but most cheating spouses will not admit to an affair unless there is proof proving they are cheating. However, I can't help but note that she has moved out. Another anti-D author I've read states, and I found it to be true, that WAWs do not need their own place to find themselves, or to work on the marriage, or any of the other crap reasons they give. WAWs need their own place to sleep with other people. Whether they are in an active affair, or whether they are setting up for sleeping with someone later. In my case, my W was wanting to move out. She was in a long distance EA, neither of them had the means to travel to see the other person. She may have fantasized about him driving up once she had her own place, but I doubt he could have even swung that. But even after that ended she was still wayward and looking for the next OM.

Once we started to reconcile and piece she gave up on her desire to move out. Just be aware that she may already be involved with someone. She may not be on the prowl. A lot of markers are there. My W started to distance herself from friends, family, church members, everyone. She knew everyone around her would tell her what she was doing was wrong, and she didn't want to hear that.

jac, keep working on detachment. GAL. 180s. Just focus on yourself. You can only control you.

My WW wouldnt even admit it when i confronted her with proof. I had to let her listen to a recording of herself having phone sex with OM.

So glad my D is almost over. Stay strong Jac. Its all about you now. My M crashed and burned. I recognized my toxic behavior 3 years+ ago and changed myself into a much better person and finally got physically healthy. My WW is NPD/BPD. She fully embraced her NPD and treated me horribly. To the point where I lost all respect from her and also stopped loving her.

Your situation may not end up like mine. My WW sees my changes and it just makes her bitter and more hateful because the current version of herself cant have me. My WW will never change. Her loss and my gain because I am doing very well for myself.