Wife is having an affair and wants to separate

[SoTorn]

So sorry you are in this situation. In my opinion, you should let her know that you know she is lying. You dont have to say how you found out. Its time to focus on yourself. Use this gift of time to be the best father and the best version of yourself possible. Stop any toxic behavior. Your M is over. Drop all expectations that your WW will come around because in reality she most likely wont. Is there a chance she will? Yes, but its not going to be based on anything you do.

I wouldnt agree to any custody arrangement without a formal binding agreement. Seems to me like shes trying to get out and divorce and now that shes unemployed ask for alimony and child support. Go talk to a lawyer and see if you can get a custody agreement written up.

If she leaves she is abandoning the marriage. Thats fault in some states. Good thing is that it looks bad to lose a job or quit then try and get support.

My STBXWW acted the same way. It was my fault she slept with her married boss. She mistreated me horribly. I dropped 100lbs, look amazing, set myself up financially and pushed the eject button. None of us deserve to be treated like we are expendable. You will be fine. It hurts badly, worse than anything you will ever encounter in life. But you will get through it.

My D is an open case, pending with the courts. Should be done soon. I did IHS since September 2018. It is as hard but i detached and dropped the rope. I deserve a wonderful caring woman who is devoted to me, my WW is not that person and she never will be again.

Good luck.