Add to that Attachment Trauma and Avoidant Personality Disorder. My W had so many traumatic experiences in her life and tried to suppress it off for so long that's it is really ingrained in her identity. With her PTSD she can just keep herself afloat. My frustration with her idiosyncrasies, my lack of understanding, and my anger at her avoiding dealing with her issues just caused her to retreat even further inward. I've come to realize this only too late, and I regret many things I've done and said, but then I remind myself that life doesn't work like that. So I'm grateful that, in a way, it was a gift that motivated me to get a better understanding of people's suffering. It helped me forgive her and myself, and others. Besides, can't see the future, who knows what's around the corner. Ultimately I can't help her by being too close I guess. Learning that the hard way.
