It’s true, you may actually want something different than what you need RIGHT now.
I think there is balance in people. People who just devote their lives to their kids and husband. Well, that’s extreme. I mean, to each his own, but I don’t want a husband like that and I don’t want to be a wife like that.
If I give myself any credit in this world, it ‘s for striking a healthy balance. I’m usually pretty good at it, but the scale at times tip one way or another, but I am not an extremist. Being a divorced mom at 28 taught me a whole lot. That I have interests, I love my friends and they are family to me, and I like spending time woth a partner, but not dedicating my whole self to them.
You’ll figure it out in due time. But neither way is wrong or right.
I am not a fan of the Rolling Stones but dont they have a song that says essentially the same thing? You might not get what you want but you'll get what you need???? Your right I will figure it out. Life is a really crazy thing.
Hung out with the dr sat night. She had her kid until 7ish so we just went out to dinner and I spent the night. I will see her again on Thursday. Nothing new to report. She loves to bake cupcakes and when she goes out marketing she takes the primary care physicians cupcakes that she makes homemade to give to them so when they need to make a referral they will refer to her. They are actually really good so she made my daughters Strawberry as that is my oldest favorite flavor. Of course she then asked who made them and I just told her a friend. My oldest loves to bake so she said that maybe she could bake with her some day. I just said maybe. I told the dr this info and she told me she would love to bake with her. Truthfully it feels as though the dr is a little nervous and scared about me meeting her son as well. She talks about him quite a bit and sends me pictures of him but is not pushing anything either. It really does feel like we are both in the same place of if not being easy to be vulnerable.
I know I talked a lot about my son with ex bf and a bf before him (who I had no intention of introducing) it’s not a pushing for commitment thing. I think it’s cause my life is my son right now. I have him the majority of the time as does the dr. I’m sure it also has to do with limited contact with my sons dad. I don’t talk to him about anything beyond logistics. So it’s nice to have someone to talk about him with.
J9 - My situation is very very different in that my kids are adults. I was wondering if it's perhaps becoming time to let your girls know that you are going on dates while setting their expectations that Dad - who loves them very much - is also looking at forming a new relationship.
At their age they should know what dating is. That way when you reach a point with a possible new partner where they could be introduced there is no real surprise as it is just an extension of what they already know. Perhaps those with younger kids could opine. You undoubtedly want to avoid suddenly showing up with a new step-mother with three ugly daughters and yours having to do all the cleaning with the help of random woodland creatures.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Makes sense Ju...she has her son 90% of the time so he is her life as well. Today marks 3 months with the Dr. and she commented to me this morning that "Thankfully it has been easy". I will agree that it has been very easy and I know there are many things that can complicate or make things difficult.
I will see her on Thursday night for a bit but then after that I am not sure as her sister is in town this weekend and obviously Easter Sunday as well. Neither one of us seem concerned about it and I do get the sense that we are on the same page. 3 months as been her longest post D relationship so I guess we shall see if we make to the "$hit it about to get real stage". I don't feel any pressure but I do feel pressure if that makes sense. It is still hard for me to be vulnerable.
I feel very calm and in control of emotions. I am not worrying, obsessing, analyzing her intentions, etc. and that does bring a feeling of comfort. She has been who she said she has been all along. Her D was final in Sept of 2017 and mine in April of 2018 so we are not that far apart in timeline. I don't feel pressure from her to do anything other than what we are currently doing which is hanging out and having fun. She has never once forced me into a conversation I didn't want to have, question me on why I am in no rush to introduce children, or pressured me into a commitment. She has let me take the lead on just about everything.
I do get the sense that she wants to meet my girls and I would like to meet her son however that does scare the crap out of me just because of what that signifies. Based on what I have seen out of her, pictures of her son, videos, etc. I have no reason to believe that she would be nothing but a positive influence in my daughters lives and a good role model.
Do I like her....yes. Am I all spun up emotionally wanting to spend every waking moment with her....no. Do I still question if I should have or needed to date around more...yes but I am not sure why as she is a good woman and I know I am a lucky man.
Andrew I think when the kids are little it’s enough to just say daddy’s friend. Explanations are too complicated. They don’t really understand boyfriend/ girlfriend. With my ex bf after about a year l, my son told me “I think ... has a crush on you mommy” and then we broke up 6 months later. My son still doesn’t really know or care and that’s perfect.
Also, if your still questioning... I know you like her. But maybe questioning timing or desire to commit or overall compatibility. . Don’t introduce kids. It’s still really early after both divorces were finalized. 3 months is nothing and reveals nothing.
