Alison - I think you're right. Maintaining that balance of keeping the candle in the window and not being a doormat is a difficult one. I came here largely because I read the lighthouse story in one of the threads - my retelling of it would not do the author justice, but it read to me as needing to be their lighthouse whilst they are out there navigate the storms of their own emotions. I felt then, as I do now, that he was lost and the best thing I could do was stand still, a kind of safe house, whilst he worked his [censored] out.
Right now, it feels more like doormat than lighthouse ...
I think we both not that he will not be receptive to being denied access to 'his house'. I have spent most of the day drafting and redrafting the email to him. I think email would be best - that way, I am not within yelling distance, and I can avoid his initial reaction (anger), quickly followed by reasons why I am in the wrong, and finally (hopefully), once he has had time to process it, a little bit of objectivity.
Quick question - I have just discovered that he has taken marriage certificate and our wedding videos. They were in a plastic shopping bag at the bottom of my closet. I know we need them (to prove we are married) in order to put the divorce papers through, but as I would not stand in the way of a divorce, I can't see why he took them. And he does not have a video player (who has one of those anymore?). I am not that bothered that he took them, it bothers me more that he was in my bedroom, snooping around my closet !!!
