P_Jam I hope you eventualy "settle in" to the emptiness, im sure its really hard for you, and hope you make peace with it and your thoughts. Im not physically separated yet, so I'm not there yet. Still in IHS until we we sell house. But I'm sure its going to be a liberating and yet acaet as he'll when I do experience it. No complication to IA.
But it did initially trigger feelings and insecurities from past GF that I wasn't good enough, or I kept making the same mistakes. I was walking around knowing for 2 months, and it was eating me alive until I confronted W about it. It was more like she figured out I was somehow spying on her, from some of the subjects I was bringing up, that she had already brought up before.
Ironicly that GF from 20 years ago, I messaged 1 year ago, making W aware of my intentions. I was having dreams of her and other exes. W was ok with me reaching out. We were always ok with that sort of thing, as long as no boundaries were crossed. That i just wanted to find out how her life turned out with the guy she left me for. She married him, had two kids, apologized for the way she treated me, turned into a devoted Christian. We briefly talked on FB messenger and got caught up on ours and our families lives. Also ironically I told the old GF I just had a son, was happily married _little did I know my BD was coming 8 months later.)
