Ok Steve85. Thanks. Now I know where this is possibly going as far as MC jointly.
You and I both know MC has a low success rate because But I want to take the lead and lead her the direction of an MC, or better still... Coaching that is Pro M and offers solutions or SBT similar to or with MWD rather than repeating bring up old traumas, resentments, feelings and remaining stuck, which is what I am sure most MC's do because of dated training.
She is not PA. I'm not sure if you can technically call her EA. It was more like a obsessive stalker like celebrity fantasy crush, that almost went full contact. But after I confronted back in Feb. I stopped snooping after. I've watched behaviors, and don't see any EA/PA at this time.
So you definately think I'm being manipulated into this, with no real intention to work on things from her? I think I get it and see the long term POV. No real commitment to work on the M, keeps it open ended, continues to string me along, she gets the sale of the house, the relief of not bring burdeoned with the mortgage any longer, space from me, the new job, her new apt, new life, and gets to reneg on the MC. down the line.
How can I respond this evening, so I am not flip flopping in my words and actions if I am indeed being manipulated? Everything i have tried from DB has been one gigantic stand off p!ssing match for the last 6 months. Its made everything worse. The NC, all of it, reclaiming the MBR which I get. Even Sandi said to stop applying her rules, as they are perceive by her as punitive. So its hard for me to trust the process, but I understand how the process is supposed to be for the long haul to R and not short term. To have the WAS feel loss without direct impunity from the LBH. So what do so I do? More of what doesn't work so far? Everyone here is wondering why im flip flopping. I know I shouldn't have initiated or threatened to initiate the D process though.
