Like Neffer said I am working to help her through this withdrawal and have my eyes wide open. I am still pushing for the call, text, whatever in a non confrontational way when it is brought up. I do know that we cannot move forward until this happens and have told her that.
Do you mean to tell me that she still has not notified OM that she's ending the A and he is to never contact her again?
This is not good. She's not going through withdrawals and there will be no progress until she officially ends the A. I think you may have been slightly too soft when you addressed it. I mean, she said she was willing to do anything to gain your trust, and you told her how you needed it to happen, but in the meantime.......days go by and she still hasn't done it.
Listen, I know how hard it is for her. I felt as if I was cutting my life line when I notified my OM, and I cried as if someone had died. I can look back now and see how crazy that was......but it was the state I was in at the time. You see, this is not just for you. It's for her sake maybe even more than yours. She may try to get by with just no more contact without sending him that final notification that the A is over.........but as you've seen, it doesn't work. She has to cut that life line to the OM. That's the only way she can grieve and get over it. Otherwise, it stays alive. So, don't let this keep going on. You've got to insist she ends it now.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
