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Is complimenting a form of pursuit?


I suppose it could feel like pursuit if you were to overkill. If there has been a ripple in the MR and the H suddenly starts pouring on compliments, yes......it can be felt as pursuit. I've seen some cases where the W was rolling her eyes b/c all he did was compliment her physical appearance. After a while, they can sound a little flat or empty.....maybe even a little fake. You have to realize, she's let you know she is not happy with the MR, and although it's great you are working on 180's, just don't over do it with compliments, b/c she'll probably see an ulterior motive behind it. For now, I suggest you limit it to one per day, and gradually build the number. You want to work on how you say it, and change it up.

Words of affirmation is about uplifting that person's spirit. If you hardly ever gave your W praise for anything, and now compliments are flowing out of your mouth, she probably sees it as your way of getting on the good side of her. The talent lies in how you word things, And also, find ways to uplift her that have nothing to do with her physical appearance. Her response to you saying her glasses looked great on her, sounds as if you may be doing similar compliments to the point of them sounding too much alike. Again, I encourage you to google examples of words of affirmation. Women like to hear they look good or something looks good on them. However, there is more to us than just sitting around looking pretty. wink So, express how she does certain things very well, brag on her being a good mother, appreciate the great meal she cooks, etc. I think she sees through what you are doing with this 180, so again, just start out a little and let it build.

Is your W a SAHM?

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!