Okay I need to ask a quick question regarding healthy boundaries, responses an deattachment, even though Steve 85 has pointed me in the direction of self differentiation early on in my sich which is great.
I know this is my own POV, but I can use some feedback in responding to such. Everyday when I come home the W still ask me How was my day, and vice versa. I typically respond with short direct answers from whether it was good or not and why. Typically I remain upbeat and positive regardless of whether it was good or bad.
I was considering in creating a polite respectful boundary on this and asking the W not to ask this any longer. I know she is just being polite and would ask this of any typical family member or friend.
The reason why I would like to cease her asking me this every day, because it maintains the marital dynamic to me from my POV.
Very early on in my stitch, my W complained that we never talk about anything or have nothing to talk about anymore, and that our convos turned into superficial, "How was your day...good..How was your day..good" conversations. But yet she still continues this dynamic to this day, along with once in a while asking me for life advice, or making speculative suggestions with what I should do with my life, hobbies, etc. I thank her for her compliments and suggestions, but I'm trying not to continue the marital dynamics since she "fired me as her husband" She avoids any other emotional discussions. But will bring some personal things up on occaisionally which kind of blurs the lines from me. I think she still does some of these things out of past habit. She calls me babe on then corrects herself, which has happened at least 8 times since BD.
I actually asked her yesterday. Just out of pure curiosity? How important is it to you? She said that knowing how my day was is important to her and that she does care. I acknowledge that and thanked her. Although I know it's in a platonic sense and she is just being polite
I almost wanted to ask her? Are you going to ask me that every time we exchange S1 in the future? Or do you just plan to say hi?
I know this sounds really petty and stupid of me, but I feel like if I allow her to continue asking me such, it blurs the lines and continues parts of the marital dynamic in a sense, along with her asking me for advice in her life, making suggestions what I should do with mine in my hobbies, etc... I know she's just trying to be caring and helpful, and means well. But I'm looking to politefully and respectfully address the blurring of the lines between M and S , by creating some emotional boundaries of my own for detachment.
Am I being a punitive jackass in creating sense of loss and emotional boundaries? Or do I have a valid point? How can i address this in a healthy but very subtle and balanced way?
