So maybe just continue to work on releasing thoughts about Him and his activities
Yes. I need to be more diligent in practicing this. But, I also know I’m my own worst enemy, and have to resist the urge to snoop in phone records and look at FB. I found out some pretty heavy things about H through my snooping on the internet, and in a way I regret knowing about them. I don’t know if I will EVER be able to get over them if he ever expresses desire to R. I’m not sure I even want to at this point.
I’m having more and more thoughts on speaking to him about a D, too. It’s all so confusing. Not quite ready, but doing lots of prep stuff “just in case”.
Anyway, my D19 messaged me yesterday and said she was homesick. She will be home in 2 weeks for the summer, and I will spend 2 days over Easter with her and D21 at their college. Anyway, we then talked on the phone for quite a long while.
She mentioned that her and S21 asked their dad if he could come for a visit this weekend. She said he couldn’t because he had an out of town gig. (He does, I verified from FB). We chatted briefly about them communicating much. She said no, that he didn’t seem interested. That he is not really responsive to her messages. (That’s a shortened version, as I don’t recall her exact words). I don’t think she hardly ever did message him, but obviously the few times she did she got a clear message from him. BROKE MY HEART!
I briefly shared that I thought dad was in a bad place, but didn’t expand too much, and that he really doesn’t communicate with me either. I then shared that I was so happy that her and I are so close, and that I loved her so much. That our relationship made me so happy. She said the same. She was upbeat about that. We talked for quite a while after that about just everyday stuff. We do usually message several times a day, and talk a few times a week. We share pictures, recipes, and are planning several activities for the summer. What else would one need to feel joy?
H is really missing out on a relationship with 2 great kids. He THINKS his relationship with them is “pretty good”. In reality, it’s almost non-existent. It’s sad.
A friend thinks I should tell H what D19 shared with me – that she doesn’t think her dad is interested in her. I’m thinking I should probably say nothing, and let things unfold themselves. What do you think, folks?
So, the days pass, I try to keep busy, and continue to work on, and make plans for, improvements in the house “in case” I rent a room someday. Heck, it will help show the house if it goes for sale too someday, so the improvements are a win-win no matter what.
Boot camp tonight, Bunko tomorrow. No plans for the weekend, but I just might work on those dresses for the mission trip and paint a room instead of going out.
