Feeling lost getting over it and maybe not caring

[Turbine]

As I was finishing up at the gym the power went out. Exemption to them being 24/7.

Turned in insurance paperwork. Phone plan needs to be activated.

I still feel I failed. Failed her, us, our kids, myself. For a long time despite trying everyday. I feel my values are being trampled on by society. Work hard... all that.

Talks with the minister help sometimes, sometimes not. In matters that are moral aren't these who we should seek for guidance. Getting told its my fault we are where we are at isn't news. More like, "here, I don't think you dug a deep enough hole on your own. Let me use this backhoe to make it deeper." Not very inspiring or uplifting.

The church we attended and I am trying to rejoin doesn't pray the rosary or like that for penance. Hmmm... guess I will have to ask about that... I seem unable to forgive myself... ergo I am broken. There are other things too. Some things don't self repair I guess. Seems I am still too tied up as Mr and Mrs Turbine.

Interview tomorrow at Fermi... put best foot forward. I would use far more of everything I know and have learned there. Jamming gears... not so much. On the other hand wouldn't need much in the way of possessions then either.

More thoughts later. Enjoy the read.