I remember once when me and my ex were much younger, we went out to a bar with a bunch of his frat buddies while we were away for a wedding. He was hanging out with his friends and I was talking to his friend’s girlfriends. I remember these 2 guys (looked like motorcycle guys) came in and and one was aggressively flirting with me. Like he kept playing with my hair while He was sitting behind me. I was ignoring him and not encouraging, And another girl made this comment about how my ex husband would get upset if he saw...
I got up and walked over to my ex husband and did not tell my ex husband anything. Just made it clear to the other guy I was with a boy friend. The reason was, I loved my ex husband and didn’t want him to feel the need to get into a bar fight with scary looking characters so he wouldn’t look bad in front of his friends. I wanted him to be safe. I know damn well that other women at our age at the time would use that cause they would like the attention of men fighting over them. They would know that the drama would add value. i know that too. I am not stupid when it comes to male/female dynamics. But I have brothers and I always try to treat people - especially the guys I am with - with loyalty and respect. I didn’t want to ruin my ex’s time with his friends or have him risk getting hurt.
Anyway, one thing I do notice is that the women that do make a big deal about stuff like that certainly don’t have more then me in terms of looks or intelligence. But they end up with guys that are more doting. I think that a lot of guys don’t appreciate stuff like that. Maybe on a logical side they do. But emotionally they are gonna feel more attraction for the girl that’s not a sure thing. For the girl they have to fight for.
Like when that guy pointed out to you how lucky you were with the dr - it made you a bit more worried about losing her. But the fact that she would rather hang out with you in her limited time then go out for drinks with her friends makes you less attracted.
Now I’m not putting you down for this. Most guys are like this. I’m just asking you, cause I am realizing that things haven’t worked out for me in the past cause I don’t play those games. Obviously, at my age guys are not gonna fight over me in a bar anymore. But I think there’s something to not being so available. Not being a sure thing.
If your dr girlfriend chose going out for drinks with her friends on a Saturday night, instead of hanging out with you (for a girls night) would that be more appealing? To me, a woman that has young children and chooses at our age to stay with her young children is more appealing then like the ex wife who works all day and skips out on them to socialize and do tons of “me activities”. Why don’t you guys see that?
