Sorry you are here, but you are, and lets make sure, you pull through this with dignity, grace and assured, that you, no matter the outcome, can look back at some point in the future with respect for how you chose to conduct yourself in this situation.
So how do you go about doing that? you already have the heavy lifters advising you, and no matter how counterintuitive the advice you get here may sound - I advice you to trust in the proces, because as I usually say: "A lot of people with different backgrounds, from various places around the world come here to find aid, and they all have one thing in common: 95% of the times the narrative of our stories are exactly the same, it is just the people in our stories that are not.
Listen to your wife, validate her and be kind and do not try to fix her - she is not fixable - she is most likely either questioning her life aka "is there more than this - could the grass be greener? - am I missing out?" or she met someone else and you will learn in time, and she just creating a fog to hide her behavior. I can't say wether its A or B, I can just say that let time reveal the truth.
In the meantime, focus on you, because right now she needs her space, and the cat metaphor, Ready2change told you about is great. Let her come, and then listen, but dont try to lure the cat in, thats pursuit behavior and will just push her away.
As hard as it might be, right now she is free renting all your mental space, and you need that space in order to save yourself from an extremely mental taxing situation. So, don't let her - evict her from your head, and use that space to do something good for yourself.
I am rooting for you - I might make all of this sound incredible easy, and I, together with most on this site, lived your situation, so we know its not, and by no means am I trying to come of as arrogant or bashing - I am just trying to keep you from making my mistakes, and the mistakes of so many others that I have talked to on here since I began DB'ing.
(hugs)
BD: Wife says "its over" 11th august 2018. EA: June 2018 PA: August 2018 - ongoing Status: Taking turns 7 days a week to be in the house w. kids WW: no regrets, seems happy with leaving.
