Not much change - she still wants to reconcile - there was a brief misunderstanding in there for a while due to miscommunication (the dangers of texting). We both want to take things slowly. She stated that she wants time to figure out how to make herself happy and I am still determined to make myself into the best d*mn version of myself. She is extremely remorseful for her actions leading up to this point and has apologized several times over the weekend (which we did NOT spend together). We still haven't had "the talk" about what it will take to reconcile. We're supposed to spend time together at my house this upcoming weekend where we have agreed that we'll discuss what it looks like to move forward together, or if it's even possible. I'm really trying to stay objective about this, keep the big picture in mind, and not dive head first into a sh*t-show.
I don't want to walk into that conversation with a crazy list of demands, so I'm keeping it short with my highest priorities in there.
1. No contact with OM. She broke things off with him, but they still work in the same building so I will have her present ideas on how she plans to make this happen, which I will either approve or not. I am not willing to budge on this item. She either needs to find a new job or transfer to a position that does not interact with his.
2. She agrees to MC and IC (I'm already in IC). She has a lot of personal baggage to unpack and there were a lot of things wrong in our old marriage that need to be addressed, on both sides.
3. I need assurance that she is committed to rebuilding a relationship with ME, not just trying to mask the pain she is currently feeling about the loss of family. She's saying mostly the right things that I am looking for her to say in this regard, but I need for her to state that she's in it for me, clearly, without room for interpretation.
If those are met, I also want to discuss; 1, what reconciliation means to each of us; 2, a general timeline or goal(s) for reconciliation; 3, rules of engagement (e.g. frequency and types of contact with each other [date nights, family outings, social events, etc.].
Let me know your thoughts. Another note, communication has opened up from terse, but cordial to having a hint of friendly banter.
