When I had my son a year ago I developed PPD (Postpartum Depression) and when on and off for over 10 months. I felt alone and abandoned and I blamed my H for it. This took a toll on our R, but my H never gave up on me. At the same time my H was very stressed at work and started to show symptoms of depression himself.
Are you being treated for this now? My XW went through it as well, it can be quite devastating! As for your H never giving up on you, that may very well have been the beginning of his discontent but he kept playing along while planning his exit.
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Right before the holidays he told me that he didn't believe that our R could improve and that he wanted out. He left our home that day and didn't hear from him in days. Next time I saw him he looked awful and he had been crying.That day he said that he loved me but was not in love with me...because if were if would have never left. Friends told me that he looked depressed at work and was always by himself. They were also worried that he would hurt himself. The times I've talked to him he has mentioned that he was fighting his demons and that he was very unhappy with his life. That he's lost and doesn't know who he is or what he wants anymore. He kept saying that he needed to be and find happiness and he didn't know if it was with me and the kids or not.
What are your ages? That sounds he's going through MLC. Don't pursue him, just pull back and give him time and space. Unfortunately he's "fired you" as wife, so you are not in a position to help him or encourage him to seek help right now.
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He has also blamed me for his unhappiness and said that he has been miserable for years, pretty much all our M.
Yes we call it "rewriting history". All he remembers is the bad things right now, he doesn't remember the good times. Eventually he'll come out of the fog and remember the good times but it can take a long time.
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At first I was in shock and I cried and begged him to come back, but after a few weeks I started doing things that made me feel better and started going to counseling. Thankfully I find myself in a much better place now.
Excellent!
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My H also went to IC for a few weeks and I'm not sure if it helped him or made it worse. He has become a very angry individual and his only support right not it's his mother who also blames me for not being a good wife. He has cut communication with all his friends that have tried to get him come to his senses. He now says they are not real friends and has nobody to talk to.
Is he still in IC? Hopefully he is. It's not unusual for a WAS, especially an MLCer, to distance from their friends.
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My H and I currently communicate via email, but only when it's something regarding our children, which unfortunately is not often.
That's actually good, the more time and space you can give him then the faster he'll work through his issues.
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My D has been struggling with this and is confused by her father's behavior. She's at an age where she understands but doesn't really know what's going on (not sure if that even makes sense).
Has anyone been through this with little ones? Any advice?
How old are your kids? They may need IC as well, discuss it with your IC and see what he/ she thinks.
