HopeCA. You are in for a very long a difficult journey. Read everything Cadet posted. At this point its time to work on you, be the best version of yourself possible. Dont pursue your H. Dont focus on making decisions based on how he will react.

Time to be supermom and make decisions that make you happy. My M did not survive unfortunately. That doesnt mean yours wont. But you need to prepare yourself to be a better person no matter what the outcome. You got this! Keep posting and updating.

M:16
T:21
H(me) 38
WW: 38
S11 D16 D19
Red Flags of A: March 2018
ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018
Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018
BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018
D Filed: March 27, 2019