My Story Part 3

[Manta]

I'm afraid you are right on the craziness. Knew about boundaries, will have to look up SMART contact.

And its true that the more contact I have with her the more drawn into her mad mad world i get.

We are finalizing our divorce so its headed to that output. Its strange how that is the "healthy" option as things turned out.


Lately DB is more of saving ourselves rather than saving a marriage which is in the throws of pure madness.

It really is. Sandi's rules and also her story and advice to newcomers about WW's is very helpful.

Begging, pleading, reasoning doesn't work with a WW. You really need to let them go and get on with your life.

I asked my WW back in August and Sept last year for marriage counseling and R, she declined and said she was happy, etc, was in love and when I asked her why/what was missing in our marriage that made you do this, she said "I have been asking that question to myself so many times, as I know so many girls that would love a guy like you. I think you're just traditional, you know. You wanted kids and a house, that's not me!!!" She couldn't even look me in the eye saying it, as she was staring into space. That's the last time i saw her in person.

We were in the process of buying a beautiful home, also we had been trying for children. She had 2 miscarriages, 1 in Dec 2017, then one in Feb 2018. I honestly put no pressure on her when it came to Children. With or Without Children, I told her it didn't matter, as I loved her. I just wanted us to be happy.

She is still in the throes of her affair and has moved full forward with the divorce and wants to erase me asap from her life. It's very humiliating and hurtful, as it's no different than a hit and run.

You will get there mate, keep your dignity and just be the best you can be right now. I know about the crying and loneliness, the long drives to work, constant thinking over and over in your mind of what happened, trying to process the pain, the why's and also dealing with the fallout.

Sometimes i say to myself if she ever did want me back, where the %^&* would she start? She has burnt all the bridges between us, so easily and cruel. She surrounded herself with a few cheerleaders and enablers who she barely knew, only1 year in a new job, who were all cheating or breaking up with their boyfriends. These became her new friends, as she is very easily influenced.

You cant fix stupid.